The Real Wooton

I know I can sound weird, unintelligent, and - *snort* - obese on the AIO radio show, but this is actually a guise for my superior intelligence! It takes much more than energy and an addiction to comics to make a multi-million-dollar corporation from my own imagination. It takes business skills: finances, marketing, demographic targeting, corporate strategies, and acting like a clown so no one knows my true identity.
Sadly, my identity has been exposed. First a friend and his dad found out, then Whit, and now Rusty Gordon, who blogs to a massive audience. The fans know, and the stockholders know. The fans have already been brainwashed enough to believe Powerboy is real thanks to a Powerboy symbol marketing stunt a few months ago, but now I need to reassure the stockholders that a sane person is leading their company. The friendly persona formerly known as friendly mailman Wooton is no longer believable or necessary.
So now you know. I'm actually a corporate CEO, a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire.
But that's another story.